Eye See, said the Blind Man

I have always taken some pride in the fact that while my mom, dad, and both sisters were sporting glasses, I never had to. It has become pretty clear to me lately, however, that my sight is failing, somewhat. Don't get me wrong, I can still see.  Things are just a little fuzzy around the edges. I've found recently that it is a lot harder to feel confident about where you're headed if you can't see the signs in front of you, especially if it's dark outside. It's also a little embarrassing that any person within 15 feet of me could read along with me on my Kindle based on the fact that I have the font so large that there are only about seven words on each page. My arm gets sore from reading because of the speed at which I have to flip to the next page in order for a complete sentence to form itself correctly in my brain. All these things made it necessary for me to take a little trip to see my ophthalmologist. He recommended bifocals. I wasn't surprised, or even all that upset, but it did feel a little like I had crossed some imaginary line that people don't want to cross.

Picking out the glasses was horrendous. It didn't help that my moral support was Larry. He kept bringing me big thick rimmed nerd glasses to try on. I can't decide if he thought I might look good in them, or if he was just messing with me. If his past behavior is any indication, my best guess is that he was just being a butt. At any rate, I did finally decide on some frames, but again, the experience was kind of underwhelming. I didn't particularly love them, but they seemed to feel like the least evil of all the evils.

It took me three attempts to go pick up my spiffy new specs, but that's a story for another day.  Once I had them in my hand, the nice lady told me to put them on.  When I did, let me just tell you that I could NOT SEE SQUAT.  I kept saying "This doesn't seem right", but she kept saying "You're just not used to it yet".  All the way home I thought that there was a giant possibility I may never get used to it. Once I got home I took a closer look at them.  What I found was that the left lens was significantly thicker than the right one.  I didn't remember the doctor telling me that I had any worse vision in one eye than in the other. I put them back on and covered up the left lens with my hand.  WHAT?!  Oh my word. The world was clear.  I could even see the words on the TV! I came PERILOUSLY CLOSE to being excited about glasses. So, I guess my solution was to walk around with my hand pressed over my left eye? Not workable.

After talking with the eye people and taking them back, it was determined that they were all wrong.  Heck of it is that I TRIED to tell them that in the first place.  People just annoy me sometimes.  At any rate, I now have these glasses on my face and I find that they are only mediocre looking at best. It's discouraging. But, I can see.  Clearly.  And I can read.  Easily.  It's actually very cool....and so very NOT cool.